In this lonely paradise I try not to think of two, for such an obsession was not meant for this realm (for it cheats The Father, who is Merciless.)
The mountains in my soul echo with thunder…oh, to live with the thunder and forsake the mountains.
Maker, why do you allow me to yearn? Give me sweet knowledge! I am filled with acid, for I have not the understanding to mature, nor the strength to withstand that which awakens me.
You, Maker, are a cruel barker…with your tests. Dare me to leave you so soon? Entice me, but just a piece more -- I challenge! Will my own denouement make moot your divine infliction of this pain? I will fight this hardening of my heart.
I have become sick of your beguilement, your colored nebula. I’ve become sick of myself. I am disappointed, let down by us.
And now I challenge You, My Angry God. Impart to me understanding; the reason to push beyond these obsessions.
I am yet a child! I can not conceive beyond what you have given to me. Unknowingly, I have tried to become my own God. Self-destruction. Temptation beyond what I can tolerate.
Pick me up and lay me back down in your world; make me to reacquaint with your order, for it is a language I have lost.
You make the ocean and the sky azure. As your child (I’m my own God now) I have chosen to make them crimson… for their blazing effects.
You…The Stranger who arranges my feelings…are you dangerous? You, who choose not to help this loner, can nothing feed you?
As of now, still... I remain a puppet to my own God.
K.P.
