Lucky
You live in my mind, the way I prefer you.
Lucky you .
For here, you are perfect: Stronger than you were; taller than you are; more beautiful than humanly possible.
Lucky me.
These colorless negatives of you hide your black ace; lend more drama to your lackluster style.
Your insignificant lust song is enchantment to my memory; the call of a beautiful demon.
The Demon is sire to the rubies in my jaded memory of you .
My burning head confuses my heart. Your golden hair needles into my nerves. Skin burns into skin, skin that tried to meld.
My physical body had the antidote; your skin was set to fire.
We fit too closely together, one animal. Your skin now covers my mind. You have given to me your black ace. My mind needs my skin’s antidote.
Your exaltations surprise you? I am amused. You have taught me to erupt, every day, into my own face. Delicious.
I like you in my mind. Thor -- so cruel…generous althewhile’. The libertine.
In my mind, I have become you, a beautiful tiger; on the inside, a black ace. Like you. Born in the wrong era or just the wrong body? Tiger or a King?
(Blessed moments of clarity)
I am awake now to what I did not know. And now I wonder, are you the carry angel? Can I possibly wait another lifetime?
Alta calls and I am a willing charlatan. I perceive my pulse in strange new places. I hear my nerves synapse as they devour. I understand now…
….that mountains were your womb. Born exotic, out of this time…lost? Were we meant now or a different bend in time? Complicate‘.
The small demons have matured: I am jealous of the garments that cover your skin; I am jealous of the oxygen that sustains you; I am jealous of the thunder in your ears; I am jealous of the lightening before your eyes; I am jealous of the words that leave your precious lips; I am jealous of the water that refreshes you; I am jealous of the sweat that leaves your body.
Our children have made me insane. They have grown into a fierce tiger, like their father. I will call them Rory.
And now I hate you in my mind.
K.P.
